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Huge mess ...

So this has nothing to do with my weight loss journey, but I got myself into a bit of a mess the other day and I have to put it down on paper, print ... whatever you want to call it.

I went to my best friends house for a pot luck, got home around 12:30 am and had just sat down to watch some porn (yes, I watch it alone sometimes).  My phone goes off and it is a friend of mine A, she wants me to come by her neighbors and have a drink, I say no I am to tired and she boo's me.  After a few more txt turning her down my phone rings and it's her, she bugs me put different ppl on the phone and final I concede and say I will come by.

One of the txt's was from this guy D. who I have known forever but never really looked at other then to say hi and chit chat, but he told A. to tell me to get my booty over there, I told A. to tell D. he's never paid mind to my booty before so he can leave it alone now.

But anyway, I head over and sit and chit chat with everyone, my plan is to visit for a hour or so and then head home ... ya that plan went to crap!

For some reason I was the center of attention for D., he made a point of giving me a hug and touching me and complimenting me (he noticed the almost 40lbs I have lost), and when he discovered my long finger nails he made a point of asking me to scratch him.

So long story short, everyone left but me and D. (our other friend fell asleep in a chair near us), and we ended up fooling around.  Some oral, a lot of talk and then we went up stairs and had unprotected sex.

Now, he is single but he has a FWB who is obsessed with him but they are not committed, though she is a friend of mine.  I know I should feel guilty but I don't, he is the one who pursued me and hey he is sexy.

I enjoyed paying attention to him, and the way he reacted you could tell he was not used to that kind of attention, I was scratching, rubbing and just over all touching him.  At one point he was laying on his stomach and I ran my tongue along his ear lube and blew softly into his ear, he got goose bumps and said he loved how I knew how to touch him, that he is never spoiled like this and he is loving it.

There is a lot that happened that night, to much to write in here, but at one point he said to me "please don't fall in love with me", I started to laugh and told him he had no worries with that ... he is not the type I could fall for, I was just enjoying the sexiness of this.  But by the end of the night, I think it could have been the other way around and he could have fallen for me ... but alas it was not meant to be.

I was suppose to go to his house on Tuesday and I called but he never answered, Thursday I tried one more time and never heard anything from him so I knew the decision to play was a bad one ... and I chalked it up to a fun night.

Then this Saturday after a wedding, I wound up at the same party as him again.  But this time his FWB was there and she made a point of hovering over him.  At the start of the night he kept his distance from me but by the end of the night he was paying a lot more attention to me ... as was his FWB.  But I kept my distance from him, I learnt my lesson I was not going there again.

Now this circle of friends are really hard core drinkers, and well very heavy drug users.  I rarely drink and never do drugs, but I do enjoy hanging around with them.  I let loose this night and drank a lot and D. tried to get me to do blow.  I am very curious about it but I won't do it ... I know myself well enough to know I will enjoy it way to much and I would become addicted, which I refuse to do.  I quit smoking, rarely drink and am now watching my foods, I don't need another bad habit.

It hurt to see him with her, but I could see that they were a good fit, she liked to party just as much as he did and she was into the drugs, so I guess in the end it was the right to realize that it was a mistake and to just move on. 

Maybe next time I hang out with them I will bring a date, so that he knows I am not hung up on him ... that I am hurt that he used me like that but that I can move on and really it was just sex ... though there may be one small complication.

It happened on the weekend I was fertile.



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